I hoped that Mutti Frida would let me stay the night rather than have me walk home in such bad weather – and that did indeed happen.Mutti Frida decided it was time we cooked her a meal. She sat on the sofa and gave cooking instructions through the open door. Fortunately, it was a simple meal of ham, cheese and Gürkchen, pickled baby cucumbers, on toasted slices of the thick rye bread Mutti Frida loved. She had been delighted to find at a bakery in town that produced something like the Schwarzbrot she so loved.After we finished eating, we again played Hearts, and this time it was me that crashed out. I spent the night sleeping on the sofa as before, swaddled in blankets. That night the sea did freeze – according to the news up to a mile out from the shore – and there were worries that the ice could damage the pier.A few days later, the holidays ended and it was back to school. After school on the first day, I hurried back to Col’s house eager to find out how he was going.Col was there. Seeing nothing but darkness, she rested back on the table and waited for the next strike.SMACK“You are weak.”SMACK“You will submit.”SMACK“Recite the truths that you know, beta.”SMACK Her body was not fighting the sensations she felt. She was not rejecting the pain. Strange as it was, there was something comforting about the steady cadence of the slap on her bottom and the authoritative words. They pushed her, prompted her, and dominated her. She no longer bothered to think about the voice commanding her. She did not worry any longer about the women who were watching her. She just spiraled into her own sensations, the scent, the rhythm, the drumbeat of truth. Words spilled from her lips unthought.“Weakness is my virtue. Submission brings pleasure. Obedience is my purpose.”SMACK“Weakness is my virtue. Submission brings pleasure. Obedience is my purpose. Weakness is my virtue. Submission brings pleasure. Obedience is my purpose...” The words kept tumbling out, like a prayer. She babbled.
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